The Brainswitcher
by Para Abnormal
Summary: *CHAPTER 3 UP-WUFEI* The G-boys have had their bodies switched around and now are living as their fellow pilots! And they are learning some juicy secrets about each other...*PG13 for language and yaoi jokes*
1. 1 Welcome to the Machine

Gundam Wing and the Brainswitching Machine  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own gundam wing! Weee!  
  
Chapter 1-Terror of the Brainswitcher  
  
Prof. J had all the gundam pilots strapped up to a machine with cups on their heads. They were all nervous and sweating . He stood by the lever, and said, "Now, Gundam Pilots listen here...I have invented a new machine...the BRAIN SWITCHER!"  
*Gasp  
"The BODY SWITCHER!"  
*Gasp  
"Or which ever way you want to say it."  
Duo raised his hand.   
"Yes?" Prof. J answered.  
Duo said, "How can this help us?"  
"It is only to test."  
"Yeah, but how can it help us in this war..."  
"Shaddup." Prof. J snapped. Duo raised his hand again.  
"Yes, Duo?"  
"Can I get a snack?"  
"No, now shut up." Duo raised his hand AGAIN.  
"WHAT DO YOU WANT NOW DUO?"  
"Can I go pee pee?"  
"NO!" he screamed and picked up a screwdriver then threw it at Duo's head. "YOU CANNOT GO TO THE BATHROOM UNTIL THE EXPERIMENT IS DONE!"  
"But I really...really...REALLY...gotta go."  
"JUST SHUT UP ALREADY, DUO!" He threw another screw driver.  
"Owy!"  
Duo picked back up the screw driver and threw it at Prof. J's head.  
"Now you know how it feels!!"  
"ALRIGHT ALREADY!"  
Prof. J got him undone and everyone else waited. Duo came back in two minutes later, tolit paper on his foot, and he got strapped back up.  
"Okay, no one else has to go too, do they?" Trowa raised his hand.  
"YOU TOO?" he yelled.  
"No," Trowa said. "My butt itches."  
"WHAT?!" screamed the doctor.  
"My buttox itches."   
He ran over, gave Trowa a back scratcher and said, "Satisfied?"  
Trowa nodded as he sturggled to itch himself while being tied up. Wufei raised his hand.  
"What do you want?"  
"My head hurts."  
"Why?"  
"This god-damn pony tail hurts! Loosen it up for me."  
Prof. J gave a look of disgust, but agreed and took out his ponytail.   
"It's a woman!" Cried Duo. "Don't you be calling me onna anymore when you have long hair too! Hypocrite! Freak! Moron! Girl! Fag! Gay-man! Chinese boy! Lezbo! Weirdo! Nose picker! Farty pants! Jack @$$! Momma's boy! Stupid-head! Poop-face! Butt-munchy!"  
Wufei blinked.  
"Put the damn ponytail back up," Wufei snapped and Prof. J obeyed.  
"Oooh!" Quatre raised his hand.  
"What?" he sighed exaustidly.  
"Can I have a billion dollars?"  
Prof. J ran down the halls, then stopped for a moment. He turn back and said, "HEY, YOU ALREADY HAVE A BILLION DOLLARS!"  
"Oh yeah," he remembered innocently.  
Heero raised his hand.  
"AND WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?!" He shouted as loud and angry as he could get. "WHAT TASK DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? I LET DUO GO THE BATHROOM, GIVE TROWA A BUTT-SCRATHER, TOOK OUT WUFEI'S PONYTAIL, AND GAVE QUATRE A MILLION DOLLARS!"  
"Actually, a billion." He smiled.  
"SHUT THE HELL UP!" J screamed at him.  
"I was just wondering when you were going to stard the experiment,"   
"Oh yes."   
Doctor J went over and pulled the lever.  
"Now, when it is done flashing, your minds will be switched!"  
There was a mighty blare of red and green lights, then loud trumpets playing, and the caps on the pilot's heads started glowing rainbow colors.  
"NYAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!" He evilly laughed, and turned off the machine.  
He scrambled over and untied them. Each one shook out of their daze, then glanced at each other, and screamed.  
"EVERYONE, SHUDDUP!" The doctor shouted after five minutes of yelling and panicking.  
They all stopped.  
"No one panic," THe doctor said and got out a paper and pen. "We must organize ourselves here. When I call your name-not who you are in, but who your mind is-raise your hand. Quatre?"  
Heero raised his hand.  
"Quatre is Heero. Trowa?"  
Wufei raised his hand.  
"Trowa is Wufei. Heero?"  
Trowa raised his hand.  
"Heero is Trowa. Wufei?"  
Duo raised his hand.  
"Wufei is Duo. Duo?"  
Quatre raised his hand and eagerly said, "Can I use the bathroom again?"  
The doctor rolled his eyes. "Yep, it's Duo alright."  
"DAMMIT! This is injustice!" Cried Wufei. "Confusing! I have become a weakling!"  
"Be quiet, Chang." Snapped Heero.  
Wufei looked very angry.  
"Injustice!" called Wufei. "Injustice I tell you!"  
"SHUDDUP!" screamed the doctor. "There is no way to reverse it, for now."  
"WHAT?" They all screamed.  
"Yep. I need some other group to work on. I'll call you when I need you back. But for now, you guys got to be each other. Okay?"  
"Sounds like fun..." Duo slipped his hand into Quatre's pocket. "Expecially now that I have Quatre's wallet..."  
"Okay, doesn't it sound like fun, guys?" Yelped Quatre. "Hey, what's this?"  
Quatre pulled out a strap from Heero's spandex, and it had a pistol tapped to it.  
"And this?"  
He pulled out more. There were about tenguns.  
He kept on pulling and pulling, until there was a strap and pistol pile on the ground.  
"Wow, where did you get this all, Heero?" asked Duo.  
"E-Bay." he replied.  
"So THAT'S what you've been doing on your labtop your whole life?!" Duo cried.  
"Injustice I say, injustice! PURE INJUSTICE!"  
"Er, Wufei, how can it be pure injustice?" Quatre asked. "Becuase Pure means good, but injustice is bad, so isn't that kind of an oxymoron...?"  
"CAUZ I SAY IT IS!" Wufei forced.  
"Be quiet, Chang," Trowa hissed.  
"So we have to go now?" Duo asked.  
"Yes," said the doctor. "Quick. When you come back, the reverse part will be built in."  
"SO WE WERE JUST GUINIPIGS FOR THIS DAMN PROJECT?" yelled Wufei. "YOU BASTARD!"  
"Yep." J admitted, as if he wasn't even insulted. "So leave like I said so I can get my work done!"  
"We heard what you said." Heero snapped.   
"Bye bye! Leave! Tata! See yah! Sinora!" He shooed them outside, then shut hte door.  
"I am not going to talk to any of you damn morons like this," said Heero as they walked off.  
"You know, he ain't THAT different from Trowa." Duo jocked.  
"Hey," Trowa snarled, but kept along.  
They stopped at Duo's old, small apartment and Wufei waved goodbye as he went in, mumbling injustice of course. They were at Wufei's China-styled house next, where Trowa left the group. Then it was Heero and Relena's house where QUatre entered. They went to Trowa's (The circus) when Heero left. THe last in the group was Duo, who saw the big mansion of Quatre's. He grinned.  
"Nice, but I hear Quatre's credit card calling my name..."  
  
*  
  
Wow! That was a LOOONG chapter for me! The next couple ones are shorter, and the next one is called Quarelling Quatre. So, just review (NO FLAMES) and if I get...five or something I'll update. THAX GUYS!  
-Punk in Tokyo 


	2. 2 The Biggest Douchbag in the Universe

Chapter 2-Quarelling Quatre   
  
"Hello honey!" cried Relena as she invited Quatre into the house. Quatre looked strangely at her, shrugged and thought to himself, "This is great, now I gotta girlfriend. Trowa's gonna kill me!"  
Relena kissed him on the cheek. Quatre blushed.  
"Gosh, I never seen you react so much to a small kiss, Heero. Usually you push away."  
He shrugged.  
"Oh well."  
'Wait...' Quatre thought. 'There are two reasons I should NOT be kissing Relena...1) Trowa will hurt me if he finds out. 2) Heero will hurt me if he finds out. Well, I guess that means I shouldn't get close to her at all.'  
"You don't seem yourself. You want me to give you a hug, Heero?"  
"NOOOOO!" Quatre cried and ran into the kitchen.  
Relena blinked, but stayed in the room.  
"Heero? Heero? You seem very strange today. Why don't you take a joy ride on Wing Zero?"  
"I might hurt someone." Quatre replied.  
"Heero, are you sick?" She worried.  
"No," Quatre said. "I just don't feel like myself today."  
"I agree," said Relena and went into the kitchen. "Oh my god, what are you doing?"  
Quatre was making cups of tea.  
"Heero, you hate tea."  
"Do I?" Quatre asked. "I guess I forgot." He took a sip. "It sooths you down, you know."  
He went into the dinning room to finish his tea. Relena hurried after and stood next to him.  
"Heero," she tried to reason. "You are scaring me. You are acting like Quatre." Quatre's eyes grew big.  
"W-w-why is that scary?" he stuttered.   
"Because you know how much I hate that faggot!" Relena growled. "I hate that douche bag muslim!"  
Quatre stared.  
"Oh." he drank the tea, slightly sweating from his anger he was hiding. "What is a douche bag?"  
It was Relena's turn to stare.  
"I am worried about you. Can I call the doctor?"  
"No...I am just fine." he sipped. "Why do you hate Quatre?"  
"Because," she snapped. "Because...because...I do. Oh my god, do you think that I am calling you a douche bag muslim?"  
She gave him a huge hug.  
"NO...EMOTIONS!" he chocked and ran out of the room. The tea splattered on the ground and splattered on Relena's dress.  
"DAMMIT!" she shrieked. The tea hadn't entirely setteled, so there was a gross brown stain on her dress. "Oh, not you Heero!" She tried to wipe her dress with a napkin.  
Quatre didn't hear. He was already halfway down the hall before he heard what Relena had to say.  
  
  
END OF CHAPTER 2  
  
Hey everyone! That was short! The rest of my chapters will be too! Oh, guys, this IS NOT A QUATRE BASHING FIC. Peoples, I luvs quatre, but it all fits in!   
  
Next chapter: WUFEI! 


	3. 3 Just Married

Chapter 3-Weird Wufei  
  
Wufei cautiously entered Duo's apartment.  
"Hello?" he called. "Anyone here? Shinigami monsters? Grim reaper? Evil priests? Mutant caloflower?"  
Hilde suddenly came into the room.  
"Hi darling!"  
"AAAAAAAH!" he screamed. "MUTANT CALOFLOWER!!!!!!!"  
"Oh, Duo, your so funny! Come on in! I am ready!" Wufei noticed she was dressed in heavy makeup and a frilly blue dress.  
"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, LESBO!?!!!" he screamed.  
"This is our anniversery, silly." He remembered something about Duo and Hilde being boyfriend and girlfriend, but...  
"But we aren't even married!!!!!"  
The angrier Wufei seemed to get, the happier Hilde got. This only made Wufei madder, and Hilde more cheerful.  
"No, but it has been one year since the day we met!!!" She threw pink and blue confetti in the air. "Happy ANNIVERSERY!"  
Wufei coughed on a piece of confetti.  
"DAMMIT, WOMAN!" he shouted. "ARE YOU FREAKING RETARTED OR SOMETHING?!!   
Hilde wiped a tear.  
"No..." and with that, she burst into tears.  
Wufei wrinkled his nose. What a weakling! STRONG people don't cry when they are called retarded!  
"Listen, you booch, don't be acting like that. FINE, we will DO the STUPID anniversery."  
Hilde suddenly turned up. A huge smile spread across her face.  
"You can decide!"  
Wufei looked more revolted then ever.  
"How about we go to..." he thought for a second. "Ri-chan's Rice?   
"Ri-chan's Rice?" She made a funny face, then snapped back to normal. "Okay! Ri-chan's rice!!!"  
She grabbed Wufei around the arm and forced him out the door.   
Well, at least I get a free dinner. Wufei thought as they got into the car and drove into the city, slowly lighting as night approached.  
  
Er...short chapter...eh?  
  
Okay, 8-10 reviews and I'll continue. Next is...Terrible Trowa...mwahahahahaaaa........... 


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